So you may or may not have missed the first part Last night: Hanging out with the kid. You may or may not want to go back and read it first. Totally up to you.
I was a pretty popular babysitter back in high school. It may have had something to do with my tendency to leave homes or at least the play rooms cleaner than when I got there. I have a bit of an obsession about tidy rooms that I manage to keep under control when other people are around, but leave me in a messy room all alone and I can’t be held responsible.
A little secret: RD and I don’t exactly have the same housekeeping ethic.
RDjr was in bed. I was exhausted. It was only 2.5 hours with her but to be fair I had gone for a 5k run just before going over. RD would be back in about half an hour. Time to relax a bit. But that thing I mentioned above, it’s kind of something that keeps me from relaxing. In order to avoid intruding on his space I went for the innocuous emptying and filling of the dishwasher to pass the time and satiate my cleaning bug.
Pulled out my book to fill the rest of the time. About a paragraph in, RD comes in. We grabbed a couple beers, he put on a record, and we settled in on the couch for some quality hang out.
I love our beer/music/couch hang outs. We catch up on each other’s past few days. We debate something in the news. He helps me brainstorm ideas for projects. When we first started dating, this was pretty much all we did. Almost two years later, we still talk for hours like this a couple times per week.
9pm: It’s been a pretty crazy couple days. Car broke down. Some pretty serious band-related drama. I should probably get to be early. Maybe one beer each and share a third.
9:30: Can I get you another beer?
10pm: Another beer?
11pm: I should probably make RDjr lunch while we get our next beer.
12am: Maybe we should share this last beer.
1am: I know we agreed the last beer would be the last beer, but maybe we should share just one more.
2am: Hmm… I have a thought. RDjr is pretty slow getting up in the morning. I think maybe you should spend the night. I’m sure you can get up and out before she comes out. Want to stay?
Oh good. Because I really should have gone home after the last beer. I’m half asleep already.
There’s something wonderful about collapsing into bed together utterly exhausted by a great night together. Even without sex.
I mentioned recently that on his dad weeks our hang outs seemed to be getting cut shorter and shorter. But the last two rounds of daddy weeks we’ve squeezed in at least one late night and now one sleepover (still with bum’s rush in the morning but…).
Shortly after writing those few posts, we were out for a dog walk and I brought up how it kind of sucks walking over, especially in this unending bloody cold winter, and only getting to hang out for an hour or so. He didn’t really respond at the time but his actions the last few weeks seem to imply he heard me.
This did happen once before over a year ago but that time was an exception. I think last night might be his way of approaching/suggesting a new pattern. Quite a few of the steps in our relationship have required large amounts of beer.